He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
