Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
