so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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