Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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