Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
