ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
