You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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