my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just forgot I was standing up.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
