Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
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Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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