he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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