I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize