So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
