wakey wakey hands off snakey
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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