i think i have two assholes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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