Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize