What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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