K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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