youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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