He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
