whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
