we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
