UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
