I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
