I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
