I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
