Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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