don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
