For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
