Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
