She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
