Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
