yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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