I think I died a long time ago.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
