google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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