At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
