I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have demons in me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
