I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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