yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
