Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
