Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
