Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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