Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
