a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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