dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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