if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
