if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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