strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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