What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
