Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
