So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
