i'm home, then i'll come over
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.