My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dating After Heartbreak
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.