get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
