i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.