if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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