whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
