May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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