I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
