I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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