New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
