It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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