I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My dick has a subreddit
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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