Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
