her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
