when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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