If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
